'It's no one's business': Reddit's working mothers on why they hide their children from employers
A post on Reddit’s r/jobs has opened up a conversation that many working mothers recognise immediately: the deliberate, careful concealment of the fact that they have children, not from strangers, but from their employers.
The original poster is 31, has a child turning three soon, and has actively ensured that nobody at her new job knows about her personal life. She is not doing this out of preference for privacy. She is doing it because she has watched the alternative play out; interviewers start asking whether she has children, then the sudden change in demeanour that follows.
“I worry about being fired if they find out I have a kid,” she wrote. “I really don’t want to be discriminated against just for being a mom. It’s not fair for employers to discriminate for that.”
What Reddit said
The responses were immediate and largely validating. “Don’t mention it at all. You wait for the probationary period to end and then if it’s needed to be mentioned, mention it then,” one commenter advised.
Another made the boundary explicit: “It’s no one’s business. Does your kid cause you issues with your job routinely? As far as I’m concerned, even me having a husband is no one’s business if I don’t want it to be.”
One commenter shared a direct experience of what happens when the information is disclosed too early: “I made the mistake once of saying I have a kid in an interview and they then proceeded to ask me about how I would handle it if I had to work late. I tried to explain it had never been a problem before and that I had a husband and other support, but they made their decision. I don’t give anything personal away in interviews.”
Another described the same practice as a rule they personally follow: “I never ever mention my husband or kids during any of my interviews. My jobs don’t find out about my family until well into my new role.”
And one commenter pointed out the unfairness plainly: “How sad that in the year 2026, women still have to make that choice. Men never do. You do what you need to do. Best of luck.”
The “motherhood penalty” is something that many women face; women with children are perceived as less committed, less available, and less promotable than women without, and are offered lower starting salaries on average. It’s only fair that the original poster is wary of disclosing such personal information, knowing that it may be used against her in the future.
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The thread’s consensus not to mention, waiting until they’re established, and keeping their personal life separate is practical (and unfortunate) advice given the status quo.
None of that is the original poster’s fault. And in 2026, it’s deeply saddening that this is still something that many women have to deal with on a daily basis.
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